healthscotland.com

Talking about postnatal depression (reprinted 2010)

What is post-natal depression

We tend to have high expectations of motherhood and assume that you'll cope with caring for this new baby and find the experience fulfilling and satisfying. So if you find yourself in a turmoil and begin to doubt if you can manage?or even want to manage?it can be very distressing.

Many mothers find they become tearful and despondent, anxious, or tense or angry, and don't know what to do about it. If you feel like this there may be no clear reason for it, which can make things worse since you may then feel guilty and inadequate. Even though the baby was planned, and your pregnancy and birth went well, it is as if a great black cloud has arisen out of nowhere and settled over you. You probably never thought that having a baby would make you feel like this.

Post-natal depression is more common than you realise?between 10 and 20 percent of women are affected. It can occur straight after the baby is born, or months later. It can start very suddenly or slowly take hold. Women of all ages and backgrounds are affected: both first-time mothers and those with other children. It is possible for you to feel alright with your first child, but become depressed with the next. The chances of developing post-natal depression are higher, however, if a woman has had PND before.

Each woman is affected in her own particular way. These are some of the feelings and experiences which women often report. Feeling:

• depressed and tearful. Everything can seem a struggle. You feel bad about yourself and about everything around you
• anxious and worried about your own health, the baby's or the rest of the family's. You may feel genuinely frightened of being alone at home, or of going out even to the local shops
• irritable and frustrated. You may snap at your children and get in a rage with your partner or our friends
• exhausted both physically and emotionally
• unable to cope with the many demands on you
• guilty at not behaving like 'a proper mother', or about the angry feelings you may have.

You may also notice changes in the way your body functions and the way you behave:

• concentrating on even the simplest task can be difficult
• your usual sleep patterns may be upset. You may feel you want to sleep all the time. Or it may be hard to fall asleep or sleep long enough
• your appetite can be affected so that you lose all interest in food, or eat much more than usual for comfort
• your body may seem to slow down. Making decisions of any sort, even about what to wear, can seem impossible
• or you may feel full of nervous energy and keep constantly busy, but not really achieve much
• you may lose any interest in sex.

I had no self-confidence any more. It went, just like that. I couldn't bring myself to do anything.

I was a bundle of nerves, twitchy and anxious.

Tense all the time, expecting the worst to happen.

I couldn't communicate with my partner except by yelling. I had so much anger in me.

It was like being in solitary confinement. I wanted to avoid people, and be by myself. I resented anything which upset my safe little routine.

Women are affected to varying degrees by post-natal depression. With a great deal of effort, some may struggle on with their usual lives although everything may seem flat and dull. Others will be overwhelmed by powerful, frightening feelings we can't control. In our despair, you may even believe that life has nothing to offer and the only way out is to kill yourself.

It can become a vicious circle which traps you. You become more tired through lack of sleep and this makes you more irritable. You then feel guilty about how you're treating your family, and more and more useless. It seems to go on and on.

But post-natal depression does not last. You will not always feel like this. It can be an enormous relief to realise that although there is a problem, something can be done about it.

It is important, also, to find that you are not the only ones to have these experiences. Other women have been through them too and recovered.