Publication
Talking about self-harm
How can I get help?
It is important to seek help and support to deal with your difficulties. Sometimes it can be hard to speak to someone about your situation. It is worth making the first step. Once you have got to know that person, you will begin to feel that you can trust them and share some of your difficulties with them. You may find it useful to contact one of the organisations listed later to find out what help is available in your area.
Counselling and therapy
It can be useful to address the issues underlying the reasons for the self-harm, rather than the behaviour itself. Counselling and therapy can give people the chance to talk through their difficulties. It is important for people who self-harm to be listened to and taken seriously. It is also vital to be accepted and not judged or condemned and it is very important that someone who self-harms is respected for their own experiences and feelings. Talking through feelings and emotions in counselling can help you understand why you sometimes feel the way you do. It can also help you look at practical ways of dealing with difficulties as well as helping you find better alternatives to deal with them.
One therapy known as cognitive therapy can be useful in helping people overcome negative ways of thinking which may have led to that person harming themselves.
Self-help
It can also be useful to meet with other people who have similar experiences of self-harm. It can overcome the feeling of isolation and provide a chance to help others, too. Groups can provide a valuable opportunity to talk about feelings without having to explain or justify. Groups can offer acceptance, friendship and belonging.
Creativity, such as art, drama etc, can be useful not only as a distraction but can also be a good way of expressing feelings in a non-verbal way.
Other things can help to distract you if you are feeling vulnerable. It depends on your own circumstances and preferences. To be useful at distracting you from feeling the impulse to self-harm, the activity should be something you really enjoy. It should not upset you further, eg avoid watching a violent film or listening to music that does not help you relax. You may also find it useful to participate in an activity that involves other people.
Some things that people have found to be useful include:
- listening to music
- watching a video
- doing some housework
- going shopping
- doing exercise or going for a walk
- baking or cooking a meal.
Using relaxation techniques can also help, as can aromatherapy or listening to relaxing music. It may seem trivial to some, but having a long soak in a bubble bath can be helpful. It is advisable to avoid using alcohol and/or drugs as these can increase the likelihood of acting more impulsively and therefore increase the risks of self-harming.
Of course you cannot expect these things to completely change how you feel all of the time or totally solve your problems, but they can help you in the short term by helping you cope at the time and making you feel better about yourself.
It is also important to realise that self-harm is rarely entirely impulsive. There are quite often thoughts and feelings which can lead up to you harming yourself. It is important to try to recognise them and interrupt them as this will help to break the cycle.