Publication
Talking about eating disorders (reprinted 2010)
What you can do
We gradually become more and more fixed in our attitudes to food and more rigid about following the eating routines we have started. It grows increasingly difficult to break out of these patterns. Indeed for much of the time, we may not even want to, as living our lives in any other way seems unimaginable.
'It's like you're holding two conflicting things in your head at once. You want to get better, put on weight. You know you have to and at the same time you'd do anything to avoid the next meal, the next bit of food you put in your mouth.'
Help of different types is available, but we can do a lot ourselves to escape from our situation. Even if we feel very uncertain about wanting to change things, we can take some very small first steps. It's likely to be a long slow process, so it's important not to expect too much of ourselves. What works will be different for each individual, but here are some of the things other people have said helped them:
- find ways of 'spoiling' yourself (apart from with food). Do things you enjoy - or used to enjoy but perhaps haven't done for a while
- put your energy into different channels. Find things you're good at, which give you satisfaction
- try to make sure you get a chance to do what you want, not just what other people want, at least some of the time
- don't become overly concerned with reaching a target weight. If you can get to the point of liking yourself and being more at ease with yourself, that's progress indeed!
Inevitably there will be ups and downs. In times of crises, we may find we go back to the 'old ways' but this is usually just a phase which will pass.
'Some people use drink or cigarettes when things get rough. With me, it's my eating which goes haywire. I find it really hard to eat for days on end if I'm stressed, but I now know that won't last.'
As our lives become less and less focused on ourselves and what we eat, it can be surprising to find how much scope there is to do other, more fulfilling things with our lives.