Publication
Talking about eating disorders (reprinted 2010)
Understanding eating disorders
There are various possible explanations of what causes eating disorders, and the reasons will be different for each individual.
Sometimes we may find ourselves uncertain of how to cope with major changes. We may face important decisions about what to do next as one chapter of our lives comes to an end. We may then turn to food to console ourselves, or to deny ourselves so that we feel safe and in control at last. The pre-occupationin our society with looking slim and the assumption that we should all aim to look like the willowy models in the fashion pages can create pressure on us to conform. Otherwise we won't feel acceptable or accepted.
There are other sorts of expectations which may make us very uneasy. Perhaps we feel pushed into achieving, into living up to other people's standards. Sometimes achievement can appear all-important. We may push ourselves harder and harder since we don't know how else to define ourselves as individuals.
Women may feel obliged to fit in with the roles society expects of them, yet not be clear about what exactly is expected - sex object or mother, career woman or housewife? It can be difficult to acknowledge we have needs of our own and to recognise what we really want.
Relationships which are important to us can sometimes cause us distress. In some families, young people may find it hard to assert their own individuality as they grow up, and may use food as a weapon in their struggle to resist overprotective parents. When young people have been badly treated or abused, they may see themselves as worthless. The consolations of eating, the satisfactions of not eating, may seem the only options available.
Whatever the reason for it, the fear of not being able to cope and of being overwhelmed is something experienced by many people who develop an eating disorder. We feel so unsure of ourselves, so powerless and so unable to express what we want in other ways that we become totally pre-occupied with food and eating. This is more than just seeking comfort, it is an attempt to escape or to control our deepest insecurities. Yet is it not a true solution, since we become more entrapped than ever.